gearboxtheory: (Default)
gearboxtheory ([personal profile] gearboxtheory) wrote2010-06-21 03:18 am

(no subject)

Last day of work today.  As of midnight, I'll be unemployed.  On one hand, it feels like just another day.  On the other, it's good to know I'll finally be leaving all the hate, stress, and raw, unadulterated hate (did I mention the hate already?  cause there was a lot of it.) behind.  Working for this place has defined most of the last 6 years of my life, and it's not a definition I'm entirely fond of.

I've put a lot of thought into my plans for what to do with my life now.  I've spent my time since I failed out of college working for just over minimum wage, telling myself I'd eventually go back to school once I had the money- but between cost of living and recreational spending, I've only ever managed to survive from paycheck to paycheck.  And all these years, my family has offered to pay for me to finish college, as long as I did it living with them.  I could have gone for a Pell Grant or something similar, and kept up my life here in Raleigh... but I think what I really need right now is to step away from the life I've been living.  I did sign up for a couple classes a few years back, tried to balance them and work, and ended up dropping out within the first couple of weeks.

My life is still here in Raleigh, but if I really do want to do something besides subsist, I can't keep living the way I have been.  The last page of Mac Hall (and apparently Corinthians) put it best, I think.  "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, felt like a child.  Now that I am a man, I must put aside childish things."   As it is, I have far too many goals for any single lifetime, and seeing to even a small fraction of them before the end will require work.

...I've rambled on long enough.  time for more drinking and enjoying my escape from hell.

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